The Brady Bunch screenshotMy brain is nearly full, and a lot of the space in there is taken with the oddest, most useless things.

Some of the trivia that is wasting memory space are random quotes and song lyrics. I’m not talking about quotes from Shakespeare or lyrics from…well, from whatever might qualify as worthwhile in the realm of song lyrics. No, I’m talking about quotes from TV shows or movies, and lyrics from old sitcoms. On any given day, I’m apt to start singing the theme song from The Brady Bunch or The Beverly Hillbillies. Even Green Acres and Gilligan’s Island pop up on occasion.

I haven’t found any way to purge such sludge from my brain, so I may as well share some of my favorite quotes and snippets. I’ll try to go with the more obscure. Most of us probably have some quotes on tap, like “Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges!” or “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.” Maybe some of these won’t be so familiar.

“I don’t dislike you. I nothing you.”

— Jordan on TV show Scrubs. I’m pretty sure this is the only time I’ve seen the word ‘nothing’ used as a verb, but in the context it’s brilliant.

“If you were any more white, you’d be clear.”

— Marcus in the movie Go. I’ve mentioned that Go is one of my favorite movies. It has great dialogue and wonderful characters. You should check it out if you haven’t seen it.

“…and then just straight on through the chompers.”

— Brandon in the movie Galaxy Quest. Some context might be helpful to show why I like the quote. The following clip shows the scene. What I love is the casual way Brandon says the line, as if going through the “chompers” is just a formality.

By the way, Galaxy Quest was an absurd, silly, fun movie with some great actors in it, including Alan Rickman and two actors I had never seen before, Sam Rockwell and Enrico Colantoni.

“You hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability.”

— Agent Smith in the movie The Matrix. Okay fine, this one probably isn’t so obscure. I thought the actor playing Agent Smith, Hugo Weaving, did a fantastic job adding a bizarre rhythm to his dialogue. He’s one of my favorite parts of the movie.

“Did you know…more people are murdered at ninety-two degrees Fahrenheit than any other temperature? I read an article once. Lower temperatures, people are easy-going. Over ninety-two, it’s too hot to move. But just ninety-two, people get irritable.”

— Sheriff Matt Warren in It Came from Outer Space, played at the beginning of the song “92 Degrees” by Siouxsie & the Banshees. I don’t know why this sticks in my head. I just don’t.

“Cause when he lied it meant that he was there.”

— lyric from “Rabiteen” by Jack Off Jill. This line cracks me up every time. I don’t know why.

“Couples, naked, race down by its quiet side, and we laugh like soft, mad children, smug in the wooly cotton-brains of infancy.”

— lyric/poetry by Jim Morrison from the album An American Prayer. Strange thing to get stuck in my head, but it’s the rhythm of it. Here’s a video. The quote happens around 0:44.

Does this happen to you at all? Or is it just me?

What trivia do you have in your head that makes you wonder what it’s doing there?

Help! Trivia is eating my brain
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