I just realized that my blog stats right now look like they’re flipping me off:

Wordpress stats screen capture
Is there anything worse than ill-behaved stats?

(In case you’re not familiar with WordPress, this graph represents the number of views of my site.)

For some reason I can’t fathom, there was a roughly ten-fold increase in views on August 15. I did not post anything that day. In fact, the most recent post on that day was the spam one I published on August 3.

No other behind-the-scenes data gives a clue either, like certain search terms suddenly directing a bunch of people to my site. I’m not on WordPress.com, so it isn’t like I was Freshly Pressed.

I’m left with only two possible conclusions. First, it could be a glitch and the data for the fifteenth is just plain wrong.

I think that possibility is so far-fetched that it’s almost absurd to include it, but I wanted to be thorough.

No, the more obvious possibility is simply that my stats don’t like me.

I’ve long felt as if my stats were against me. They seem to enjoy mocking my efforts by keeping the numbers embarrassingly low. Sometimes they mess with my head by showing an increase in views for a while before having them go back down to practically none.

More mature stats would try to communicate. They’d try to let me know what it is about me that bothers them so. At the very least, they’d try to let me know their feelings in a gentler, more considerate way.

Have you ever had such an experience? Do you have any suggestions for dealing with such poor behavior?

 

My site stats are rude and ill-behaved
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2 thoughts on “My site stats are rude and ill-behaved

  • 08-23-2012 at 9:54 am
    Permalink

    Dear Dan,
    You’re right. Mea culpa. We have behaved immaturely. We apologize. Sometimes the level of frustration can just boil up before you can get a handle on it and, well, yes, communication can suffer. On the other hand – there it is.

    We do like you Dan. We’re not against you, we’re FOR you. We sometimes show increase to inspire you! But honestly, it take a lot of effort on our part. We can only reach out for so long.

    Also Dan, honestly, sometimes it feels like you’re toying with us. Sometimes it’s all hot and heavy. You write everyday. You’re attaching links and we get to see and share so much. People have a reason to visit, to create us. Other times we don’t hear from you for days. And, well, it’s hard Dan when you not only are interested in another blog, but write about it HERE. We’re trying to be mature about it and no doubt in the interests of mutual love, we’ll try to be supportive of your NEW stats, but, well, it’s challenging.

    So again, sorry about that. We’re think you’re awesome. I’m glad we’ve had this opportunity to hopefully become closer.

    Best,
    Your Stats

    Reply
    • 08-23-2012 at 12:58 pm
      Permalink

      Dear Stats,
      Thank you so much for writing! I had no idea you were going through all those things, but now that you point them out, it seems so obvious. I’ve been treating you badly, though it was not my intention.

      I do apologize for my inconsistency. I can try to do better, but you’ll probably realize that, in the immortal words of Hippie Cahier, “I am consistently inconsistent.”

      I also see now that I’ve been insensitive, talking about another blog so openly in front of you. I guess I didn’t know how much you cared. If it helps at all, I fully intend to talk about this blog on that other one.

      Thank you for reaching out and sharing. I do feel closer to you.

      Sincerely,
      Random (aka Dan)

      Reply

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