I was drowning. Gasping awake, I heard sloshing and sat up to find my bedroom filled with water. I got up and waded to the window. It was sunny, no flood in sight.

The door opened and Hubert entered wearing swimming goggles. “Sir, my apologies, but breakfast will be delayed.”

“Er, yes, of course,” I stammered.

“I shall make my way to the first floor and open the door to drain the house. The plumber is on his way,” he said, swimming off.

This old mansion had fallen apart since Dad passed. I should have fixed the plumbing before upgrading the windows and doors. Damn, could I do nothing right?

An hour later, I stood outside and watched a group of plumbers march into the house. Another approached and said, “Don’t worry sir, I’ll have those eleven pipers piping as long as it takes.”


I need more words! BlogFestivus is nearly over. I’ll be glad to be able to write longer, but I’ll miss the game — and the interesting takes on the game by the other participants.


Day Body Count Possible Moral
Day 1 0 Don’t land in a tree when parachuting with a bag full of money.
Day 2 2 Beware of pretty shiny things.
Day 3 2 Don’t let taunts get to you. Also, don’t play with explosives.
Day 4 1 Don’t mess with the birds.
Day 5 0 Fantasy doth not the place of reality take.
Day 6 2 Beware of falling in love with a goose.
Day 7 0 When a wise old witch-owl speaks, it pays to listen.
Day 8 7 Eat lightly and carry a big sword.
Day 9 301 Don’t attend a party hosted by someone who welds doors.
Day 10 0 Don’t underestimate your own strength.
Day 11 0 Don’t put the windows before the plumbing. Or, water always wins.
BlogFestivus Day 11: I want my daddy
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9 thoughts on “BlogFestivus Day 11: I want my daddy

  • 12-11-2011 at 3:20 pm

    “Breakfast will be delayed.” Hahaha!
    And I want to know where he got those windows and doors.

  • 12-11-2011 at 4:39 pm

    I like a house man who has a sense of humor and keeps cool in an emergency. Where can I get one of those? 😉

    • 12-11-2011 at 5:42 pm

      Hmm, good question. Since I made him up in my head, I guess that’d be where you could get one. That or eBay.

  • 12-11-2011 at 8:00 pm

    Soggy toast and runny eggs. Not a great way to start a morning.
    Funny stuff, Random.

    • 12-11-2011 at 9:50 pm

      Thank you!

      Yeah, waking to that scenario would suck, but I ran out of words to express all the ways (including soggy toast, runny eggs and watery OJ).

  • 12-14-2011 at 1:00 pm

    I wonder what the house smelled like. No, never mind don’t answer that question.

    • 12-14-2011 at 1:13 pm

      Yeah, that might be better left alone. I guess this is a case where the 144-word limit was a good thing.


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