Ares was bored, so he gathered four of his fellow gods and said, “I’m bored. Entertain me.”

Being gods, they didn’t like being given orders, but they knew Ares could be a pain in the ass, so Apollo said, “Let’s go challenge Shiva and his gang to a competition.” 

Ares liked the idea, so they headed to Mount Kailash where they found Shiva hanging out with four of his posse, also bored. The two groups entertained themselves by trash-talking each other for awhile until finally, Rama suggested they take turns leaping off the peak. Whoever leapt the furthest would win for their team.

All agreed. Now, when gods jump, their landings are massive events, and the ten lords a-leaping knocked the earth from its orbit. Fortunately, Brahma stepped in and righted things. “You’d think gods would be more mature,” he said, rolling his eyes.


Day 10’s entry for BlogFestivus, with apologies to anyone who is offended by the liberties I’ve taken with mythology (or religion, or whatever).

Day Body Count Possible Moral
Day 1 0 Don’t land in a tree when parachuting with a bag full of money.
Day 2 2 Beware of pretty shiny things.
Day 3 2 Don’t let taunts get to you. Also, don’t play with explosives.
Day 4 1 Don’t mess with the birds.
Day 5 0 Fantasy doth not the place of reality take.
Day 6 2 Beware of falling in love with a goose.
Day 7 0 When a wise old witch-owl speaks, it pays to listen.
Day 8 7 Eat lightly and carry a big sword.
Day 9 301 Don’t attend a party hosted by someone who welds doors.
Day 10 0 Don’t underestimate your own strength.
BlogFestivus Day 10: Boys will be boys
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5 thoughts on “BlogFestivus Day 10: Boys will be boys

  • 12-10-2011 at 5:44 pm

    Isn’t there a reality tv show about this? If not, it has possibilities. 🙂

    • 12-10-2011 at 6:09 pm

      Hmm, good question. I don’t really “do” reality TV shows, so I don’t know. If there’s not one, there probably should be.

  • 12-14-2011 at 12:57 pm

    This is going to surprise you, but I liked this one the most so far.

    I know I should have loved the body counts ones the most, but I mythology really interests me.

    • 12-14-2011 at 1:12 pm

      That does surprise me! But I like that!

      (I came really close to having the earth knocked so far out of orbit that everyone on earth died, but that seemed to be overkill. Plus, how would I know what number to add to my body count table? 7+ billion people plus all the animals and bugs…)


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